General shopping criteria work, but sometimes we need to use our own judgment

If you’ve ever worked with me, you probably know that I don’t take my clients shopping until we “shop their wardrobe” first. When I present the personalized collection of suggested clothing items, accessories and complete outfits that I attentively select for my clients after we identify their style personality and body shape, they often spontaneously tell me that they already have some similar items in their wardrobe but haven’t worn them in a while. 

This usually happens for many different reasons, such as insecurity, the feeling of unworthiness, the desire to blend in rather that stand out in an authentic way while secretly (or not) admiring other people’s courage to have fun with their clothes while using them as a healthy and easy means of self expression. Sometimes, they simply forgot they had them in their own wardrobe.

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However, some situations do require some shopping and that’s the moment when awareness really comes in handy and makes a whole world of a difference. When shopping is perceived more as a chore than an opportunity to enhance personal image and boost inner confidence through clothing and accessories, we tend to purchase the first thing we see that only vaguely resembles what we actually need or want. We make do and settle for less than we deserve. Then, we end up with a wardrobe full of unnecessary items that make us unhappy and anxious every day.

On the other hand, when we approach shopping with a growth mindset, we are open to experiment, try on new shapes and colours, mix and match and try unexpected or less predictable combinations that speak about our personal taste, interests, origin, desires and goals. This is a great place to be but it sometimes might feel a little time-consuming, at least at the beginning.

True freedom from shop assistants’ selling plans, external validation and people pleasing through clothing and accessories comes from a deep knowledge of your body, unweavering self-love and through understanding of your physical and emotional needs in the context of your current lifestyle.

Your clothes should support you in the present moment and the shopping criteria you taking into consideration every time you make a purchase should reflect just that. If you are to be happy with your wardrobe and personal style, you should shop for the now and not for “when you get slimmer”, “when kids grow up”, “hen you get a promotion” or any other future moment or desirable outcome.

There are some general shopping criteria I put together in a checklist that you can consult and download in English, Italian and Romanian in the File Share section of the website at this link, but sometimes we need to use our own judgment and identify our own criteria based on our physical, emotional, and social needs and make an effort to really look for what makes us happy every day and not only when we shop. We can only make our wardrobes work when we resist the temptation of the moment to shop on an impulse and really pay attention, become selective and raise the standards.

Standards should be compatible with our lifestyle and budget, of course. You wouldn’t wear a Valentino ball gown to the playground, would you?

Now I invite you to download the Shopping Criteria Checklist and tell me what would you add to the list at aniela.codita@outlook.com or by tagging me in a post on Instagram or Facebook!